Sweet Jake

Sweet Jacob Ryan

My love for you is like no other. Its strong, yet gentle. Fierce, yet calm. You changed who am I as a mother. You gave me more laughter through chaos, my tears of joy, and daily reminders how amazingly lucky I am to be home with you and your sister. You've helped me to slow down a little and let laundry sit in trade for naps with you.

And let's not be fooled, you contribute to me spending more at target.

I believe I've earned another badge to be worn on my sleeve for how far we've come in nursing. Nursing you was a struggle the first few months. I had no idea what I was doing, but you were so patient. During those long days of feeling like a 24 hr milk maid, you kept along with me and didn't fight me as I struggled. Nursing you has been a beautiful part of our early relationship and I can fully understand why other mommas rave about it.

While pregnant with you, mommas would tell me how special the bond is with their sons. How its different from their daughters. I only loved your sister. I only knew girly cuddles.

I get it. I so get it now. A son is like no other.

The way you look at me when I hold you tight in the wrap shoots right to my soul. The way you hold my finger while nursing calms my chaos inside. How you love to be hip held so you can place your head over my heart tops it off. There is just something about you, something about your love for me that rocks my socks off.

You love for me is caring. You love me in a way no else will ever compare to.

Its beautiful

I'm thankful for the mother you've shaped me to be. Your love fills the hearts of our family. From a person so small and unable to speak to me with words, you sure do light up a room with your smile and sweet heart.

As the sun starts to rise and you fall back asleep for your morning nap, I think I'll hold on to you a little longer before your sister rises and your dad comes home from work. Because my sweet Jake, you'll be five months old in just a few weeks and I can barely keep it together. Stay little. Let's not rush this time away. I won't always be with you and I can't muster up the courage to face that just yet.