A bowl of popcorn

While I was pregnant, I teased (OK, prayed!) we would have an easy baby. One who goes with the flow, only cries when he wants to eat, nurses like a champ, and sleeps like crazy.  We were blessed with an easy baby! And I have thanked the heavens everyday.

Our first bundle of joy was (is) anything but easy. As an infant, she cried all day and night. We had a terrible time trying to nurse and she was never content to sit in the car seat. As new parents we were a mess and I was scared. Our first joy is now two and she is our little firecracker. Constantly on the move and testing my boundaries as a parent. Her cleverness is amazing and her ability to learn new things is fantastic. Yet her ability to drive me crazy some days is not so fun.

I'll admit, some days parenting my little toddler is hard. I end my day thinking "well I could have done better with her. Not let myself get so frustrated when she didn't nap but pooped in her bed. Or when she through a tantrum at target over...I can't remember what is was over". Some days I just stink at parenting. I'm at a loss and question when the terrible twos will end and we will move into the stage of enjoying a trip to target or even a (gasp!) restaurant. There a huge place in my hearts that beats just for her. A love pours from that spot just for her. And I love that she loves me back through the chaos and through the days I am not up to pare.

Since bringing Jake home, Rylee has done her best to adjust. She enjoys her brother being here unless it interferes with her time with just me. She isn't a fan of him when she needs a hug while I am nursing or wants a cookie while I am mid poop diaper change. I try to make time just for her. Making sure I am acknowledging when she is being good to her brother. I remind her how special her job is at a big sister and when she gets older it will be of such importance.

I'm playing in a new ball game with two littles. Thrown onto the field with no idea of my opposing team. I've learned the let dishes sit in the sink in trade of play time and laundry to cycle through refresh again in trade of a nap.

Today I took advantage of Jake still asleep to share a bowl of popcorn with my little girl. We snuggled, watched cartoons, and giggled when we both put our hands in the bowl. I took in the sweet moments of her saying thank you, yummy, and more please mommy. I remember holding her as an infant and can't believe I'm now snuggling with her as a toddler.

So tomorrow we'll have more bowls of popcorn and giggle when I steal her popcorn bites.